2017 was a whirlwind. One minute I was pregnant. The next I was on bedrest in a hospital. I delivered two babies two months early. And then woa. Nothing else mattered.
Since Slater and Zoe have become number one in my life, most things have been put on the back burner. I’m not ashamed of that, but I do struggle at times with how to manage the rest of the parts of my life. I still want to do it all. Be the best mother I can be. But also, a wonderful wife. Hard worker. Loving daughter. Supportive sister. And loyal friend. Why is it though, if I’m succeeding at one thing, I feel I’m failing at one, two or even three of the others?
The struggle is real, and the anxiety often soars uncontrollably through the roof as I tell myself something’s gotta give. But what?!
I don’t have an answer yet, however work tends to slither first into my mind. I am lucky I have a flexible job where I call the shots on when or where to work. But as my own boss, I’m also constantly pondering when or where I will get the time. And what to focus on. When I’m working on my website, I feel I should be working on my PR stuff. When I’m consulting on PR, I should be doing the blog. When I’m at a coffee shop, I feel I should be at home. When I’m at home I feel I should be playing with my babies. My mind is constantly spiraling, and wondering what part of my job(s) I should give up.
Enter you guys. Thank you for reminding me to do the opposite. To not give up. I’ve had many days I tell my husband “I’m going to quit the blog,” but then hours later I receive an amazing opportunity from a brand I can’t turn down reminding me how far I’ve come. Or better yet, a heartfelt email from a reader looking for inspiration in their infertility journey, or asking a general question about mamahood reminding me where I’ve come. I worked my butt off to launch Bunbunbook and though years ago I wanted to lead it deep into the fashion world, it has actually now lead me to find a powerful space in the community of motherhood.
Though I’ll still touch on fashion/lifestyle, going forward I plan to use my platform to share more on life as a mama, and of course keep the conversation of infertility going since I continue to (and love to!) get emails from many who are TTC and finding their way to their children. But here’s where you come in again. What do you want more of?
Since you’ve made it this far and I’m just going to assume you get me, thank you in advance for understanding if…more like when…I miss a a few days or weeks of posts (#surviving). I’ll do my best to be consistent and am excited to see where the year takes me, the Buns and the Book!